If A Member of MMA Were A Crayola, They’d Be…

By Dave Madden @DMaddenMMA

Joanna Jedrzejczyk

Each time we flip the bill for a pay-per-view event, an instantaneous thought brews inside us to take a shot of Goldschläger, calming our nerves, because sometimes a fight card doesn’t pan out to please our MMA patronage and pocketbook. Strawweight Joanna Jedrzejczyk (10-0-0) sets the gold standard when it comes to the expectations of a premium priced event. Currently, Jedrzejczyk is the women’s strawweight champion, and the reign’s conclusion is nowhere in sight. Jedrzejczyk’s superiority earns her gold stars to go with her gold title belt; therefore, the Crayola best representative of her is gold. Gold and Jedrzejczyk are synonymous for a number of reasons: the spelling of her name, her full name; her charisma and presence; and punching power galore.


The Spelling Bee

“Ay you” is something you shout to grab the attention of a person whose name is uncommon or not easily recognizable, and students are taught to recognize gold on the periodic table as Au. Jedrzejczyk empathetically understands that many outside of her homeland of Poland, or Eastern Europe, may have difficulty properly pronouncing her name, hence, she has shortened her name to “Champion” or doesn’t shut-down when the MMA world calls her “JJ”.


With performances as her most recent title defense at UFC Fight Night Berlin, Germany against Jessica Penne (12-4-0),Jedrzejczyk will soon become a household-name, even possibly becoming a word for the finalist of The Scripps National Spelling Bee. Asking for the word’s origin: A dominant female athlete who devastatingly disposes of her competition; the Scripps National Spelling Bee winner will walk away with a gold-plated trophy!

24-Karat Personality

What happens when you obliterate the top of the field in mixed martial arts? Fans, media, and everyone with an opinion begin to look at you through a comparative lens and wonder: Is Jedrzejczyk the next Ronda Rousey? Understandable because we are clamoring to know who the next gold nugget is to be mined in women’s MMA will be, though Jedrzejczyk already is, worth their own weight in gold.

In Jedrzejczyk’s last two outings, she collected Performance of the Night bonuses each time-that’s $100,000! With the price of gold being $1,178 per ounce, her title collection and title defense were worth approximately 8.33 pounds of gold; JJ tips the scales at 115 pounds, so it certainly seems that the UFC’s head honchos, sponsorships, and anyone else with a checkbook need to start chipping-in because there is still another 106.66 pounds of gold to load into Polish Fort Knox.

There is also never the problem of judging whether what you panned was truly gold, or pyrite. Unlike the actors in Hollywood who are honored with a Golden Globe, what you see is what you get with Jedrzejczyk, and she follows her own scripts when she tells you she’s going to do something- she does it! In an interview with Ariel Helwani on the “>MMA Hour, Jedrzejczyk described the game plan for her fight against Penne. Jedrzejczyk predicted,

“I’ve got some new aces in my pocket and she’s going to be surprised. Really,” Jedrzejczyk promised.

“I’m coming, Jessica. You [haven’t] had that good of opponents in the cage. You’re going to feel the Polish power. I am coming. I am the champion and I am coming. I’m coming for you, Jessica.”

All stated matter-of-factly with that golden smile of hers.

The Midas Touch

Story has it, King Midas possessed the “golden touch”; he touched everything he could until greed consumed him. In those moments of pure selfishness, couldn’t you just imagine how fast and powerfully pinpoint all his pokes were? Jedrzejczyk’s hands contain all of Midas’ poking prowess, but she pokes with balled up fists, while also incorporating elbows, knees, and kicks, which may have felt like getting cracked with gold bars.

Needless to say, Jedrzejczyk’s hands cannot turn anything into gold; they only cause cuts, swelling, and bruising. But her hands have earned her a record of ten wins with no losses, and a perfect ten in most competitions places you at the top of the podium to be garnered a gold medal.


Reaching into a box of Crayola Crayons, gold is the color that personifies Jedrzejczyk. Maybe Jedrzejczyk signifies a different color to you, but standing proudly as the top women’s strawweight in the world makes her one you don’t want to miss when she designs a beautiful display of mixed martial arts using a rainbow of color.

crayola wax crayons

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